Potty Training: 3 Step Approach or "Who Just Peed on my Foot?"

Help me.  I woke up last Monday to more snow than a mom with 2 toddlers ever wants to see.  I was trapped.  It's time to pull the trigger.  I was putting away the diapers, and I was ready to battle.  2 potties (check), undies (check), panties (check), pull ups (duh!), lysol (and lots of it), carpet cleaner (so gross), towels (an unbelievable amount).  Maybe this is a bad idea.  Well, they aren't getting any younger...and neither am I.  Do I really want to have the only un-potty-trained high schoolers on the block???

So one week and about 20 "accidents" later I am the proud mom of 2 slightly potty-trained babies.  I am still a novice at the potty-training game, but here is my soon-to-be-famous 3 Step Approach...

Step 1: The Happy Accident

• The Tools: 2 fun new sippy cups, several gallons of lemonade, laptop computer, dvd of Thomas the Train
• The Technique: Have your toddler consume massive quantities of lemonade while watching the "choo choo show". it's bound to happen... the "happy accident"...
• Mom says, "Wow, LOOK Carter/Moo Moo, you went pee pee on the potty!  What a big kid you are!  You earned a skittle!"
• Repeat for 12 hours for 2 days

The babies during Step 1

Step 2: Piss all over my house

• The Tools: 5000 pairs of undies/panties, 3 bottles of carpet cleaner, 2 cans of Lysol, 47 rolls of paper towels, 10 packages of disinfectant wipes, 1 desperate mother... a mother-in-law might come in handy too.
• The Technique: By this time, you are all so incredibly bored of sitting by those stupid potties that you would literally rather swim in piss than wait for more "happy accidents."  It is time to wear your "big kid underwear."  But since you are 2 and 3 and have no freaking clue what pee even is, you take the liberty of finding out on your own, at the expense of my carpet, hardwood floor, area rugs, socks, etc.  At some point, there will be such a big "accident" that both the baby responsible and the other baby slip and fall in it.  Yeah.  It really is that bad.
• Mom says, "Pee pee goes on the potty.  Pee pee goes on the potty"... repeat 100 times.

Would love to show you a picture of Step 2, but out of fear of soaking the camera, I didn't even attempt.

Step 3: Pushing the pee pee out... aka: sucker envy

• The Tools:  2 exhausted toddlers, 1 clinically insane mom, the biggest bags of Ring Pops available for purchase, countless prayers for mercy
• The Technique:  Apply countless prayers for mercy.  By the grace of God, one of the babies will actually "push the pee pee out" and get rewarded with giant hugs and screams and super cool Ring Pop (Note to Parents: I caution you to not get too excited and accidentally dump potty bowl all over your pj's.  Taints the moment a bit.)  Other baby sees the excitement and gets overwhelmingly jealous of super cool Ring Pop.  Then, bam... Another hit!
• Mom says, "I am now self-acclaimed potty-training genius!  Now where is my cocktail?"

Glorious Step 3! One of MANY Ring Pops!

Sure, we have had a couple "accidents" since last week, but not many.  Moo is awesome at it and only has an "accident" when her brother yells at her (It's ok... laugh.  Everyone needs a big brother who is that supportive).  Carter is equally amazing and likes to pee pee like 4 drops every 15 minutes, because that means more suckers (genius!). My children have ingested more sugar than any human ever should, but whatev.  We did it.  Bottom line: Hit the liquor store and candy aisle before any attempt to potty-train.  And don't even get me started on the dreaded #2...